My friend Nigel has got me rethinking my position on space exploration. I am, after all, fond of wacky alien stories. But, more importantly, the Earth will someday run out of it's natural resources, especially with man's propensity for excess and greed. So, perhaps the idea of finding other planets that are suitable for habitation is a good one. Honest, as long as I'm not paying for it.

I've come up with a plan for the New Other-World Order:

*Each major religion gets its own planet.

*Extremists of all major religions get their own separate planets.

*New Agers, atheists, and agnostics get their own planets.

*Straights, gays, and lesbians get their own separate planets.

*Racists of all colours get their own planets.

*Musicians and fans of each musical genre get their own planets.

*Communists get their own planet.

*Liberals and Conservatives get their own planets.

*The people responsible for cancelling the TV show - Keen Eddie get their own planet, and the planet gets cancelled.

*All major contributors to the Earth's physical and spiritual demise must stay behind on Earth. And, seeing they are probably the wealthiest people, they can pay for everything, especially the next one.

*One planet will be set aside for nothing but pubs where everything is free and which can be visited by people of all planets except Earth, providing they can become blissfully buzzed, friendly and temporarily off their game, whatever it is.

Space - The final frontier. I may be warming up to it.

Michael McGan - 14th March 2004