McGan's Meditations
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McGan's Meditations
Watch Me Pull a Rabbit...

Magic shows still interest many people. The whole thing with magicians is stupid if you ask me. They spend all this time making things disappear - people, tigers, bridges... if they could really perform magic they should be doing just the opposite, making stuff appear.

They take their beautiful and sexy female assistant, make her disappear, and then bring her back. What is the thrill in that? Why not bring her back with a twin! Now you’ve got two beautiful and sexy women. That would make more sense to me. If I was a single guy and a magician, that’s what I’d be doing. Poof! More women. That would impress my friends!

Sometimes a magician will be holding something in his hand and he drapes a handkerchief over it, says the magic words, and pulls the handkerchief away to reveal that the object has disappeared. Why doesn’t his hand disappear? It’s under the same handkerchief. He pulls the handkerchief away and there is just this stump there... people would be screaming, passing out, throwing up... it doesn’t make any sense to me. The whole thing is stupid.

Magicians are always pulling coins from behind people’s ears. I’d tell him to keep doing it for the whole day and I’d split the payout with him. And while we’re talking about the human body as a cash machine, is there another orifice besides the ear that produces legal tender? How about bills, in large denominations? Let’s not go there, you say. You’re right. Besides, that money would have to be laundered.

And, what’s with all the rhyming words, like abra-ca-dabra, and hocus-pocus? How about phoney-baloney? And, while I’m on the subject, (poof!)...
Hey, I was just kidding guys. Bring me back now. Pretty please?

Michael McGan - 7th June 2005

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