Thank God for modern science and medicine. Breakthroughs are coming at a dizzying pace. People are exercising more and eating healthy. They say that 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40. What the hell does all that mean? Math always makes me crazy, but I guess it means that many of us will probably be living longer than we ever would have expected. If 50 is the new 40, then turning 50 would now be the point of middle age unless you die at 60, which means you should have been more reflective back at 30. The point is that more and more people are living to 100 years and beyond! What do you think of that? I believe it depends on how you view your life up to this point. Let's say that you're fifty years old at this moment. If life for you has pretty much sucked up until now, the thought of another fifty years probably doesn't exactly thrill you. You may not be up for that.

On the other hand, you can look in the mirror and give yourself a moving, motivational speech that will inspire all of your different personalities - “The first quarter was about having fun. The second quarter was about growing up. That was the first half, and now it's over. Forget about it. We made some bad plays, had some calls go against us... But there's still plenty of time on the clock. We can turn it around. The third quarter is where we find out who we really are. Now let's go out there and kick life's butt in the second half! (Murmured grumbling.) OK, how about we just try to finish the game without anymore embarrassing mishaps or serious, season ending injuries? How does that sound? (Reluctant agreement.) C'mon.”

But, what if you did live to 100 years of age or more? They say that the human body was actually designed to do this! There is one lady in the nursing home where I've worked, who is 100 years old. She is rarely in a good mood and complains about everything in an accusing voice that builds to a whining crescendo at the end of her sentences.

“I'm cold. Won't somebody get me a blannnnnnket?”
“You have a blanket on right now Edna. You're fine.”
“YOU'RE FINE! YOU'RE FINE! How can anybody be fine in this HELL HOLE?”

I once asked her what she believed as far as the meaning of life and all. In a stern voice, she said “It has no meaning. If it does, I'm so old I forgot it. I have to go to the bathrooooom!” This illustrates how illusive the answer is, the answer we all seek. When you are young, you don't have enough life experience and knowledge to recognize it. When you are old, disease or disability may chase it away. It is during middle age that you must find it and hold onto it for as long as you can.

So, it may be safe to say, from my experience, that people can live to be more than a hundred years old but most of them stop being happy decades before they are wheeled into a large room that is festively decorated with balloons and ribbons. In the center of the room, on a big table, is a cake with so many burning candles on it, that the birthday person thinks it is the bright light at the end of the tunnel.

“Am I dead?”
“No, Edna, it's just your birthday cake. You are one hundred years old today. Isn't that great?”
“No, it's not great. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, who are all these people? They're so noisy.”
The room is loud and chaotic and the birthday person has no idea what is going on and pretty much just wants to go back to bed and complain.
“I'm cold. Won't somebody get me a blannnnnket?”
“You have a blanket on, Grandma. You're fine.”
“YOU'RE FINE! YOU'RE FINE! How can anybody be fine in this HELL HOLE?”
“Hey there, birthday girl. 100 is the new 90! Isn't that great?”
“I have to go to the BATHROOOOOM!”
“You just went to the bathroom, Edna.”
“Aaaaaiiiiieeeee!!! You're all a bunch of morons!”

I've recently read that by the year 2050 there will be more than a million people over 100 years old living in the US. God help us. In a recent poll, most people responded that they would like to live into their late 80s, no longer. That seems pretty much like a good run. If down the road it was possible, through the marvels of research and modern medicine, for humans to experience 120 years of life, most people asked said “No, thanks.” They feared eventually becoming sick, disabled, or a burden to their family. I think people know when they've had enough. If you are no longer enjoying the party, you just want to head on home.

Michael McGan - 31st May 2011