Researchers have concluded that good-looking people live longer than their less attractive counterparts. The reasons for this are not entirely clear. One theory is that good-looking people, as they gaze into the mirror throughout the day, are pleasantly surprised and are filled with amazement and joy that they are in fact so attractive. On some level, this gives them a sense of hope and adds great satisfaction to their lives, despite the fact that most people hate them for this.

People on the lower rungs of attractiveness have experiences that are quite different. When they encounter a mirror they are often startled, or frightened.

Researchers say that the result of this constant shock to the system may be detrimental to their overall health and longevity. This would also result in experiencing fewer feelings of satisfaction and hope. The study goes on to say that the people on the higher rungs of the attractiveness ladder have more sex well into their later years which could possibly be one factor contributing to their longevity.

Many of the scientists involved with this study became so upset that they tore their lab coats in frustration, threw their pocket-protectors to the floor and began stomping wildly upon them. Some even began swilling smouldering vials of unidentified liquids. "They get all the breaks", said one bitter, concoction - guzzling scientist, "It's so unfair. It makes me so mad."

His entire body soon became covered in long, thick hair as he grew a snout, fangs, and a tail. This brings up a debate on that old expression "Everyone looks better after a couple of pints". Specialists were called in as the mad scientist began howling at gawking bystanders. He was carefully shot with a tranquilizer dart and fell completely off the attractiveness ladder. Fortunately, it was not much of a fall and he was not at all injured. Hours later as astonished colleagues observed, he returned to his normal appearance and had a life-changing epiphany. "I guess I don't look so bad after all. I kind of like what I see now. Who knows? I could end up living a hundred years, being a century plant! I'm very optimistic now."

Hope springs eternal, but sometimes strains a hamstring and is reduced to clumsy, painful hops. For some, that's good enough.

On a scale of one to ten ask yourself 'Is five good enough?' If the answer is 'Yes' you are a happy well adjusted person. If the answer is 'No' you are probably very unhappy most of the time...*

*Wisdom brought to you by 'A Crap Quote for All Occasions™', a wholly owned subsidiary of 'Take the Money and Run. Inc®'.

Michael McGan - 20th February 2005