Fast Food Outlets... why exactly are they called fast?

Fast Food Needs A Tune Up. There is nothing fast about these burger joints anymore. I have meditated on this in the parking lot at one of these establishments, while scarfing down a double cheeseburger and I've come up with a couple of ideas as to why this might be.

First of all, the food served here is loaded with fat right? So, if you eat there enough you're going to gain weight, which tends to make people more sluggish. The employees that work at these places get food vouchers, and therefore eat at least one meal there for every shift. From my observations, many of the people behind the counter, while basically wonderful folks, are a tad on the "largish" side and move very slowly.

The other thing, is the fact that they've added so many items to the menu, causing people to gawk, unable to make a decision due to the never ending list of choices, while you stand behind them knowing with absolute certainty, that all you want is one of their stupid burgers and a cup of coffee. And, you're in a hurry.

There should be two registers. One for - Intelligent, Decisive People In A Hurry, and one for - Fickled Cretins With Too Much Time On Their Hands. The first register will be worked by cranked up amphetamine abusers with a caffeine habit that's nearly as bad. The other register will be worked by the usual employees. This should take care of things.

Michael McGan - 8th August 2003