McGan's Meditations
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McGan's Meditations
Who IS responsible for Crop Circles?

Who is responsible for Crop Circles? You all thought it was some hippy weirdoes with far too much time and no jobs to go to in the morning… sorry to disappoint, but once again only BookLore has the answer:

How about those crop circles? Ninety percent of crop circles are found in the south of England, but they have been found in almost every other country of the world, including America. Most are created over the course of a few hours, some in less than twenty seconds, always at night.

It is another mystery that baffles the experts, who enjoy being baffled on a regular basis. Some will secretly pay large sums of money for discreet, illicit baffling. Several have had their careers as experts destroyed by their insatiable desire to be baffled, ending up in the tabloids - 'EXPERT CAUGHT IN BAFFLE BROTHEL!'.

What if, in the end, it is the crops themselves that are behind the mysterious crop circles? Like the June Taylor dancers fanning out into intricate patterns, best observed from the air.

Stalk of Barley:
"We're only going to be harvested and consumed by the humans anyway, so why don't we mess with their heads a bit? What do you say?"
Second stalk of barley:
"I think he makes a good point. Let's do it!"

The field of barley erupts into a thunderous agreement and goes to work before Farmer Brown wakes up. They are unaware that he won't be harvesting anyway, because he pulled a groin muscle at the hoe-down that night, and as a result, he is now taking a very strong muscle relaxant, the label on the bottle clearly stating: 'DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY EQUIPMENT WHILE TAKING THIS PRODUCT'.

ps no offence to any hippy weirdoes, crop circles are really cool and farmers get paid regardless.
pps no offence to farmers, we know you work hard doing silly hours.

...hang on, isn't there a connection here?

Michael McGan - 9th July 2003

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